DJ Michael K. Returns to Pesce

If you haven't read the 12 Dec 2008 blog entry of mine, it might be best to do that right now since this blog entry plays off that one.

Last night I got the opportunity to return to Pesce in Annapolis to DJ and I had more advance notice from "DJ Joe" that he'd need a fill-in. I actually knew about it three weeks ago and I'd been looking forward to "Friday the 13th" - Valentine's Eve (if there is such a thing). The plan was to have my wife and a couple of her friends come out and party with their favorite DJ. Asa loves to dance and so does her friend, Filippa. They like to dance to "real" dance/club music and most of the bar gigs I've done in the past aren't the proper place for "real" dance/club music. Pesce is.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out with my wife and her friends being able to come so I headed there all by myself. This time I was a little more relaxed. I had studied up on the newer hip-hop and rap as well as the newest dance grooves and remixes. I also dug up some club classics and old school jams that I hoped would go over well. Last time I was there, the crowd was so YOUNG (18 & Over Night) I was afraid to go back too far with the music for fear a song would flop and clear the dance floor. I just wasn't sure if these "young'ns" would "get it".

This time, I had some study time and I also came to the realization that I'm a great DJ -really- I know that sounds like I'm bragging, but it's the truth. I've been told by countless people countless times how great I am as a DJ and I take great pride in that. So I figured since I'm such a great DJ and music is universal, I was going to march into Pesce and just do what I do; play what I'm feeling will fit; read the crowd; and have a good time.

And I did. It was 18 & Over again and the average age of the 250+ crowd was probably 23. There were a lot of what I call "yo-boys" there too. These guys would be content to hear hardcore hip-hop and rap all night. No DJ -or bar manager- wants to play hip-hop and rap all night (at least in this type of joint) because sooner or later the "thugs" show up and start making trouble. Fights break out, the cops are called, etc. It's just a bad scene. And Pesce is already on thin ice because of past trouble. So I was told (not like I didn't know this already) the first night I played there NOT to play too much rap or hip-hop back-to-back. They wanted a good mix of Top-40, dance, and R&B with the occassional crowd-pleasing, booty-shakin' rap song. This is basically what I did for the seven years I DJ'd at Acme in Annapolis and the management there loved me because of my ability to go from Ludacris to Abba to AC/DC without missing a beat or clearing the dance floor. I figured I could do the same at Pesce and so I did. And everyone loved it. I loved it. Most of the night was a continuous beat-mixed swirl of music and the crowd showed their approval by keeping the dance floor occupied. I got lots of compliments from patrons and the management alike and my system sounded great!

But, alas, no DJ adventure story would be complete without one drunken girl story. Sadly, my black-eyed booty-shakin' mistress from my first night at Pesce (trust me, read the blog) didn't make it out for my second appearance. "Phwew!" I thought. That is until, I had the pleasure of meeting Haley. Ah yes, this rather inebriated girl found a new use for my speaker pole... uhuh. You see where this is going? See, I'm sure using my speaker stand as a stripper pole seemed like a great idea to drunk Haley, but given that the speaker stand is (a) not bolted down and (b) supporting a 30 lb. speaker, it is more than probably NOT a good idea to twirl around it and try to hang off of it. Ah, the virtues of alcohol.

Haley was one of those energized, excited drunk people. She told me countless times how I was "the bomb" and how I was the "best DJ EVER!!" while I tried to steady her and keep her from bumping into the equipment or tipping over the the speaker stand. Her more-sober girlfriends stood mortified on the dancefloor watching Haley put on her show. Haley's boyfriend sheepishly tried to coax her off the stage where I was, but he seemed geniunely in fear to try to physically remove her. I'm just trying to make eye contact with a bouncer so I could flash my "please... help... me..." expression. No dice. No bouncers within eye contact. Just Haley all up in my face frantically shouting out requests... "Avril Lavine!!! Play it! PLAY IT!! PLAY IT NOW!!!" All the while she's thrashing and wiggling about trying desperately to get me to dance with her. "C'mon, dance with me DJ!!! I'm a really good dancer!!"

"I can see that, but I'm not!" I replied.

Where's a frickin' bouncer when you need one!?

This went on for 20 minutes off and on. I had resorted to sending text messages to the manager's phone (who was texting me with announcements to make over the mic) pleading for help. He thought it was funny and it seemed every time he looked over, it was the moment where Haley had stepped down from the stage for a breather... and more alcohol. I don't like to be rude to people -especially drunk pretty girls- so I was just trying to politely ignore her hoping she'd go away but this chick was determined. So determined, in fact, she decided to stop the song playing on my left CD deck so that I could more clearly hear her next request.

That was it! I had to put my foot down. So, in my firmest, meanest DJ voice (I'm sure it was quite frightening) I said "Look! You just stopped the damn song! You gotta get off the stage and STAY OFF THE STAGE!" Haley looked at me and I could tell she was trying her hardest to focus. She took a deep breath and turned and wandered off stage to her waiting boyfriend. He had observed the whole scene and he sort of mouthed "sorry dude" to me and flashed an apologetic look. And to his credit, he kept Haley off the stage the rest of the night. Actually, I don't think she lasted much longer after that before she had to be taken home.

Hey, it comes with the territory. I'm a DJ. Whenever large amounts of alcohol are mixed with precision-guided dance music, there's bound to be a few drunken encounters with the DJ.

It's OK, Haley. Hope you're not paying too dearly today for all that fun last night.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Stimulus... my @ss

Lots of folks expected President Obama to walk on water. I'm just hoping he can tread it.

Executives and Politicians who make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year -and have been doing so for many years- can not possibly begin to relate to what you and I are going through.

The politicians who got us into this mess -or sat around collecting a fat paycheck while this whole mess came to be- can not possibly come up with a way out.

This is not a Republican issue. It's not a Democratic issue. It's an issue of greed and stupidity.

Why do a select few get to allocate the hard earned money of millions of hard-working, patriotic people without even consulting with them. Oh yeah... cuz we supposedly elected them to do so. Right.

I'll leave you with the words of Dr. Adrian Rogers, a conservative three-term president of the Southern Baptist Convention:

"You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom.

What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is about the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

Dr. Adrian Rogers, 1931-2005

25 Random Things About Me...

Twenty-Five Random Things About Michael K.

Yeah, this seems to be all the rage on Facebook these days... I usually don't do these types of surveys, but I have a blog to keep happy so this will fill up an entry and, of course, anyone who reads it will gain some insight into what makes me who I am. So... here goes...

1. Although I have step- and half-siblings, I was raised pretty much an only child. There's 20 years' difference between me and my youngest half-brother.

2. My mom was 40 when I was born. My dad was 59. Two years later, he died. He was buried on Christmas Eve. From then on, I was raised entirely by my mom. She is my super-hero. Oh yeah, if Dad were alive today, he'd be 99.

3. I started taking guitar lessons when I was 7. By 13, I had lost interest. I also played trumpet and viola in junior and senior high school.

4. My love for guitar was re-ignited in high school when I got a hold of my friend's electric. Soon after, I sold my Commodore-64 (which I had won in a contest) for a fraction of its worth and put the proceeds towards a Yamaha SE150 black electric guitar and a small Peavey amp.

5. My first public performance took place in 1986 at the Fairlane Village Mall (Pottsville, PA). Me and my friend performed a rockin' rendition of "Johnny B. Goode" for the Jerry Lewis MD Telethon. The whole thing was televised
locally and provided me with some "street cred" in high school as a guitar player.

6. I joined the Army straight out of high school and didn't do a whole lot of guitar playing between 1988 and 1992. While stationed at Fort Meade, MD, I bought a cheap acoustic guitar and started banging out some tunes.

7. I became a DJ totally by accident. While I was in the Army.

8. I got my first job (paper boy) when I was 14. I've been working ever since. Starting in 1992, I've had at least two jobs (sources of income). Sometimes three.

9. I grew up as a member of the Mennonite Church. Later, I attended a Baptist Christian school for 8th & 9th grade. Here I decided I wanted to be a minister. I also met my best friend and first true love.

10. I was the first-ever Spelling Bee Champion for Word of Life Christian Academy. I made it to regionals. The word that got me was "diocese" because the idiot official kept pronouncing it "DIASISS"!!

11. I'm an extroverted introvert. I was extremely shy and self-conscious growing up. This lasted into my Army years.

12. I've been married twice. My first (practice) wife and I are still friends. My current wife is my soulmate and my bestest friend.

13. I met both of my wives while I was DJing at a bar. Different bars. VERY different bars.

14. I never took the singer/songwriter thing seriously until 1999. Before then, I never thought anyone would want to hear me sing anything I had written. Boy, was I wrong.

15. The positive-thinker in me is constantly fighting with the realist in me.

16. To me, being a parent is a heavy responibility that scared the be-jesus out of me.

17. Parenthood has helped me rediscover and cherish the little things in life that grown-ups so often take for granted. My son and daughter have already taught me more than I have taught them.

18. I hate confrontation and I try to get along with everyone. Even more, I want everyone to like me and I take it very personally when someone doesn't -even if I don't really like them.

19. I would do almost anything for anyone at anytime. This has led to me being taken advantage of more than a few times.

20. My daughter has crowned me the "King of Stinky" thanks to my potent flatulent abilities. She announced this publicly
at her preschool. Doh!

21. I avoid discussing or arguing about religion, relationships, and politics. It's a losing a battle.

22. I am a music nut. I collect, study, play, record, write, perform, discuss, and search for music. Music. Music. Music.

23. I have a lot of friends, but very few close friends. I have a very high standard when it comes to close or best friends. Still, I am blessed and enriched by my current circle of friends.

24. I love to cook. Unfortunately, I also like to eat. Oh, and I'm not so good at cleaning up.

25. I believe Annapolis has one of the BEST local music scenes and I LOVE to go out an soak up the live vibe.