DJ Michael K. Returns to Pesce

If you haven't read the 12 Dec 2008 blog entry of mine, it might be best to do that right now since this blog entry plays off that one.

Last night I got the opportunity to return to Pesce in Annapolis to DJ and I had more advance notice from "DJ Joe" that he'd need a fill-in. I actually knew about it three weeks ago and I'd been looking forward to "Friday the 13th" - Valentine's Eve (if there is such a thing). The plan was to have my wife and a couple of her friends come out and party with their favorite DJ. Asa loves to dance and so does her friend, Filippa. They like to dance to "real" dance/club music and most of the bar gigs I've done in the past aren't the proper place for "real" dance/club music. Pesce is.

Unfortunately, it didn't work out with my wife and her friends being able to come so I headed there all by myself. This time I was a little more relaxed. I had studied up on the newer hip-hop and rap as well as the newest dance grooves and remixes. I also dug up some club classics and old school jams that I hoped would go over well. Last time I was there, the crowd was so YOUNG (18 & Over Night) I was afraid to go back too far with the music for fear a song would flop and clear the dance floor. I just wasn't sure if these "young'ns" would "get it".

This time, I had some study time and I also came to the realization that I'm a great DJ -really- I know that sounds like I'm bragging, but it's the truth. I've been told by countless people countless times how great I am as a DJ and I take great pride in that. So I figured since I'm such a great DJ and music is universal, I was going to march into Pesce and just do what I do; play what I'm feeling will fit; read the crowd; and have a good time.

And I did. It was 18 & Over again and the average age of the 250+ crowd was probably 23. There were a lot of what I call "yo-boys" there too. These guys would be content to hear hardcore hip-hop and rap all night. No DJ -or bar manager- wants to play hip-hop and rap all night (at least in this type of joint) because sooner or later the "thugs" show up and start making trouble. Fights break out, the cops are called, etc. It's just a bad scene. And Pesce is already on thin ice because of past trouble. So I was told (not like I didn't know this already) the first night I played there NOT to play too much rap or hip-hop back-to-back. They wanted a good mix of Top-40, dance, and R&B with the occassional crowd-pleasing, booty-shakin' rap song. This is basically what I did for the seven years I DJ'd at Acme in Annapolis and the management there loved me because of my ability to go from Ludacris to Abba to AC/DC without missing a beat or clearing the dance floor. I figured I could do the same at Pesce and so I did. And everyone loved it. I loved it. Most of the night was a continuous beat-mixed swirl of music and the crowd showed their approval by keeping the dance floor occupied. I got lots of compliments from patrons and the management alike and my system sounded great!

But, alas, no DJ adventure story would be complete without one drunken girl story. Sadly, my black-eyed booty-shakin' mistress from my first night at Pesce (trust me, read the blog) didn't make it out for my second appearance. "Phwew!" I thought. That is until, I had the pleasure of meeting Haley. Ah yes, this rather inebriated girl found a new use for my speaker pole... uhuh. You see where this is going? See, I'm sure using my speaker stand as a stripper pole seemed like a great idea to drunk Haley, but given that the speaker stand is (a) not bolted down and (b) supporting a 30 lb. speaker, it is more than probably NOT a good idea to twirl around it and try to hang off of it. Ah, the virtues of alcohol.

Haley was one of those energized, excited drunk people. She told me countless times how I was "the bomb" and how I was the "best DJ EVER!!" while I tried to steady her and keep her from bumping into the equipment or tipping over the the speaker stand. Her more-sober girlfriends stood mortified on the dancefloor watching Haley put on her show. Haley's boyfriend sheepishly tried to coax her off the stage where I was, but he seemed geniunely in fear to try to physically remove her. I'm just trying to make eye contact with a bouncer so I could flash my "please... help... me..." expression. No dice. No bouncers within eye contact. Just Haley all up in my face frantically shouting out requests... "Avril Lavine!!! Play it! PLAY IT!! PLAY IT NOW!!!" All the while she's thrashing and wiggling about trying desperately to get me to dance with her. "C'mon, dance with me DJ!!! I'm a really good dancer!!"

"I can see that, but I'm not!" I replied.

Where's a frickin' bouncer when you need one!?

This went on for 20 minutes off and on. I had resorted to sending text messages to the manager's phone (who was texting me with announcements to make over the mic) pleading for help. He thought it was funny and it seemed every time he looked over, it was the moment where Haley had stepped down from the stage for a breather... and more alcohol. I don't like to be rude to people -especially drunk pretty girls- so I was just trying to politely ignore her hoping she'd go away but this chick was determined. So determined, in fact, she decided to stop the song playing on my left CD deck so that I could more clearly hear her next request.

That was it! I had to put my foot down. So, in my firmest, meanest DJ voice (I'm sure it was quite frightening) I said "Look! You just stopped the damn song! You gotta get off the stage and STAY OFF THE STAGE!" Haley looked at me and I could tell she was trying her hardest to focus. She took a deep breath and turned and wandered off stage to her waiting boyfriend. He had observed the whole scene and he sort of mouthed "sorry dude" to me and flashed an apologetic look. And to his credit, he kept Haley off the stage the rest of the night. Actually, I don't think she lasted much longer after that before she had to be taken home.

Hey, it comes with the territory. I'm a DJ. Whenever large amounts of alcohol are mixed with precision-guided dance music, there's bound to be a few drunken encounters with the DJ.

It's OK, Haley. Hope you're not paying too dearly today for all that fun last night.

Happy Valentine's Day.